« Ready for my closeup | Main | Gran Habano V.L. »
Lottery breeds impatience...humor
As some of you fine cigar and pipe enthusiasts may have noticed,
Memphis Tobacco Bowl sells lottery tickets. While the long lines
these patrons create may cause impatience on your part (though we want to assure you that our tobacco customers will always come first), I thought I'd
share with you the real reason we have the lottery: entertainment
value.
jb: Can I help you?
Lotto man: How much is this one down here?
jb: The whole bottom row is dollar tickets.
Lotto man: So how much is this one?
jb: One dolla.
How much is this one up here?
jb: The one on the end is $10, the next one is $5, and the rest are $2.
How 'bout this other one on the bottom?
jb: It's a dolla. The whole bottom row is a dolla.
So how much is one of these?
jb: One dollar.
Hmmm...
jb: (tapping foot)
Gimme one blackjack... and how much is this one on the bottom?
jb: Three dollars.
And the one next to it?
jb: three fifty.
Hmmm... I didn't know they had three dolla tickets! That's a good deal!
jb: Yep.
Got any fiddy cent tickets?
jb: Nah. I think his concert is sold out.
Oh, okay.
Okay, just give me three mo' blackjack.
jb: Four total right?
Yep. How much is that?
jb: shakes head and takes a Xanax.
********************************************************************************
jb: Can I help you?
You gots any blackjack?
jb: Yep.
You gots any double blackjack?
jb: Yep.
You gots any triple blackjack?
jb: Nope. I guess you could get a blackjack and a double blackjack and
that would be like a triple blackjack.
Huh?
jb: Nevermind.
********************************************************************************
jb: Can I help you?
Yeah, I need two of that ticket I saw on TV last night.
jb: Sorry we're out of those.
Oh, okay. Well then gimme two blackjack.
*********************************************************************************
jb: Can I help you?
You got that one ticket... ya know the one where you try to add up to 21?
jb: Nope. We're out of that.
Okay, then gimme two blackjack.
***********************************************************************************
jb: Can I help you?
You got that one where you can win a motorcycle?
jb: Nope. We're out of that.
Okay, gimme two of those Harley Davidsons.
************************************************************************************
jb: Can I help you?
Yeah, gimme a Cash 3... box... 4, 6, 12.
jb: (Takes another Xanax) Can't do it.
Why not?
jb: You can only play single digit numbers.
A what number?
jb: You can only use 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, or zero.
How many numbers do I pick?
jb: three.
How bout Cash 4?
jb: seven.
Hmmm... I don't know that many numbers. I'll just play cash three.
Gimme 4, 6, 11. Box.
JB
jb@memphistobacco.com
Posted by Richard Alley at June 14, 2005 04:10 PM